Elk Grove in California

Hey there, Im the proud (and slightly overwhelmed) resident of Elk Grove, CA population 163,553 as of 2014, which is basically a small city thats just trying to fit into a suburban parking lot. Seriously, look at this street? Its like a scene from a Wheres Waldo? book except Waldos probably in a parking spot, and hes got a frown because hes been here for 30 minutes and hasnt found his car yet.

Im standing here in front of a Family Dental sign which, by the way, is a very appropriate name for a business thats basically a parking lot with trees. You know whats better than a dentist? A parking lot with trees. Trees are like the dentist of the parking lot they dont charge you, they dont leave you with a toothache, and they dont tell you to floss more.

If youre looking for an easter egg, look at the tree in the middle its got a little E on it. Thats not a typo. Thats me. Im the E in Elk Grove. Im the one who says Hey, Im here! and then immediately forgets where my keys are.

Also, look at the cars. Theres a red one, a white one, and a green one thats the color palette of my life. Im the guy who drives a white car and has a green shirt on because I cant decide which one to wear.

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