Giardini reali del castello

Oh, absolutely, Im smitsb, and Ive just spent the last ten minutes walking through the Giardini reali del castello like Im on a royal quest for the most aesthetically bankrupt garden in existence. Let me tell you, the real part of reali is the only thing thats real here the real estate, the real estate agents, the real estate taxes. The rest? Its a glorified, overgrown, slightly sad lawn with the ambition of a manicured hedge, which is basically just a green blob trying to look like it has a soul. And those red flowers? Oh, theyre not flowers, theyre the sad, blood-red confetti of a failed revolution. I mean, theyre pretty, sure, but in a way thats just unsettling. Like, who even decided to make a garden look like a bloody battlefield? I walked past a fountain that looked like it had been abandoned by the gods of water. And the trees? Theyre like the silent, stoic, slightly annoyed guardians of this whole thing, watching as I, smitsb, wander around like a lost tourist in a museum of bad decisions. Its not just a garden, its a museum of what happens when you try to be too real and end up looking like youve been real-ed. The only thing real here is the fact that Im still alive and not yet dead from the sheer, unrelenting, slightly tragic beauty of it all.

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