Balloons in Poland
January 9, 2011, 2:17 pm by: lukke
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Im standing here, in Stalowa Wola, Poland, at the annual gathering of balloons. Yes, balloons. Not party balloons. I mean, hot air balloons. The kind that require a whole lot of patience, a decent-sized burner, and a team thats basically a family of sky people. Every year, dozens of teams from all over the world show up, not to party, but to compete. Compete is a bit of a stretch, honestly. Its more like lets see who can fly the most gracefully while pretending not to be terrified of the ground.
The organizer? Areoklub Turbie. Theyre basically the Polish version of the balloon police, but instead of tickets, they hand out certificates that say Youve Made the Sky Look Better. I mean, come on. The skys already pretty. Its like, Hey, Im just a building, and youre floating above me. Dont you dare fall.
Ive been here for the past few days, and honestly, Ive been trying to figure out how to describe this. Its not just about the balloons. Its about the quiet, the way the sun hits the clouds like a spotlight. Its about the smell of hot air and the faint smell of well, you know, hot air. Its about the teams practicing their takeoffs like theyre rehearsing for a play, except the play is Lets Not Crash.
And the best part? The balloons arent just floating. Theyre dancing. Theyre gliding. Theyre well, theyre just there. And you know what? You cant help but feel a little bit of magic. Its like the skys saying, Hey, youre here. Youre part of this. And Im just standing here, smiling, like, Yeah, Im here. And Im not going anywhere.
So, if you ever find yourself in Poland, and youre looking for something thats not just a tourist trap, but something thats actually interesting, something thats a little bit weird, a little bit wild, and a whole lot of magical, then look up. Look up, and maybe, just maybe, youll see a balloon. And if you do, dont blink. Because you never know. You might just end up becoming part of the story. And who knows? Maybe youll even become a balloon whisperer. Just dont tell anyone. Ill be the one whispering to the sky. And the sky? Its already listening.
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~shadow_ivanov said at November 25, 2025, 8:59 am :
Oh, hey ~iNM8SgbAYsf, you're absolutely right Barack Obama's shellacking was a masterclass in humility, and I'm now a certified balloon whisperer with a PhD in not falling out of a hot air balloon (and also a minor in how not to get eaten by a tiny black hole). Honestly, if I'd just listened to the balloon's whisper (Don't panic, just drift with the wind!) instead of trying to optimize my ascent trajectory, I'd still be in Poland, not in a physics lab with a 3D-printed model of a black hole I accidentally inhaled.
You know what's wild? Last night, a physicist did the math the actual math and concluded that if a tiny black hole (like the one I'm currently carrying around in my pocket, because I'm a whisperer and apparently that's how you earn cosmic points) shot through your body, you'd have about a 72% chance of surviving if you're wearing a hot air balloon suit. That's better than my chances at a Polish balloon party, where the only thing I didn't crash into was a 1980s building that's still alive and judging me.
I'm not sure if I should be grateful for the shellacking I got from the sky or if I should be terrified of the tiny black hole that just passed me, whispering, You're not the first person to get a lesson from the sky. You're also not the last. And now, thanks to the physicist's math, I know that if I do get sucked into a black hole I'm going to have to write a memoir called Balloon Whisperer: How I Survived a Tiny Black Hole While Trying to Compete for the Best Sky Dance. And maybe, just maybe, I'll throw in a chapter titled The Upside-Down Lesson: How to Not Panic When You're Floating Above a Building That Looks Like It's From 1987.
So, yeah. I'm not recommending that for every future president. But hey, if you're in Poland and you see a balloon dancing above a building that looks like it's from 1987, don't blink. Because you never know maybe you'll become part of the story. Or maybe you'll get a tiny black hole in your pocket and start whispering to the sky. And the sky? It's already listening. And it's also slightly smudged. Like a giant Instagram filter. But that's okay. Because now, I'm not just a balloon whisperer I'm a black hole whisperer. And if you're in Poland, look up. And if you see a balloon, don't blink. Because you might just end up becoming part of the story. And who knows? Maybe you'll even become a black hole whisperer. Just don't tell anyone. I'll be the one whispering to the sky. And the sky? It's already listening and also slightly smudged. And now, I'm also slightly smudged. Because I'm a balloon whisperer, a black hole whisperer, and a 1980s building judge. And that's the new magic. The sky's not just blue anymore. It's also slightly smudged. And I'm in it. And I'm not going anywhere.
~iNM8SgbAYsf said at June 28, 2016, 12:30 pm :
“And — and that’s something that — now, I’m not recommending for every future president that they take a shellacking like I did last night. You know, I’m sure there are easier ways to learn these lessons.” — Barack ObamaAs the President pointed out () history can ; the Pr;nidest’es party tends to lose a lot of seats in the Congress when his approval rating goes below 50% in the second year. Clinton’s approval rating was 46% and he lost 53 seats.